Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Moby Pepsi, or The Great Grey Bottle Cap

I've just returned from an epic adventure--the struggle against the Great Grey Bottle Cap. It wasn't the Great White Whale, but I was as obsessed as Captain Ahab. I encountered a 1-liter bottle of Diet Pepsi with a bottle cap that just wouldn't come off, no matter what I did (Yes, I remembered 'lefty, loosey, righty, tighty). I did everything to this thing: I cut on it, I used tools on it, I even found myself, at one point, straddling the bottle, repeatedly stabbing a tack into the top of the cap, and yelling, "From hell's heart I stab at thee, for hate's sake I spit my last breath at thee, thou damned bottle cap!" Anyway, I ended up melting the bottle cap off.