I was getting a haircut at the barbershop one day. The barber had finished cutting and now, to finish it off, she was applying some hair product, a shaping mousse, or something like that, and she was talking about how the product was meant to fill in spots where there was thinning hair.

"What?" I thought. "I have thinning hair? I don't have thinning hair! (Okay, maybe that one spot in the front, but otherwise,) I don't have thinning hair!"

While her lips kept moving, projecting verbal vomit about thinning hair, I sprang out of the barber chair, spun around, grabbed a samurai sword off the counter behind me (don't ask), and lopped her head off. Her body fell to the ground. I located her head, looked it right in the eyes, and said, like one of those Hollywood action heroes, "No tip for you!"

I gave my money to the cashier, then stormed out.